The Secret Service had to pull Senator Barack Hussein Obama off of Hillary Clinton at the Democrat Presidential Debate. Edwards was hovering around behind Obama saying give it to her bro. When the Secret Service asked him what he was doing, he said, don’t tase me bro.
The Secret Service charged Edwards and Obama with conspiracy to beat up on a girl. Saint Hillary, the feminist of Wellesley, said they did it deliberately. Make them spend the night in jail she chanted.
What started this? Aren’t presidential candidates supposed to be adults? There is something about South Carolina that brings out the red bull in all of them.
What brought this on? The Secret Service let them go and they were interviewed after the Mugging at Myrtle.
Obama: She started it. She’s a girl and she knows how to make boys lose control.
Hillary: I don’t know how to do that. (Speaking in her school girl way.)
Obama: Yes you do. Girls are more mature, but you use your knowledge for evil.
Hillary: Now what makes you say that? Did your slum lord client tell you to say that?
Obama: No he didn’t. There she goes again. I can’t control myself when she says that. She smears and I jeer. That’s the way I am. I’m likable too. But she isn’t.
Hillary: You aren’t so likable when you are asked about your record. Then you hover and look for cover. You don’t come out in the open to defend your record. You never take responsibility for anything you ever voted for.
Obama: I do so. Its you who run from your record. You are hiding behind Bill’s skirts.
Hillary: Bill doesn’t wear skirts.
Obama: But he has them around.
Hillary: I’m not sure what you mean. But you know Bill was pointing out how you are non-responsive on your record.
Obama: I am responsive. Its you who are not responsive. You twist everything I say. You and Bill. I’m tired of it.
Edwards: I get to say something.
Obama: What? (glowering)
Edwards: Well, er, I was going to answer the question, but if it makes you mad I’ll just be quiet.
Obama: (glowering) It doesn’t make me mad. Answer the question.
Edwards: I was going to say this doesn’t help stop poverty …
Obama: (interjecting) at the Mill. Yes we know about the Mill, John. When can you say anything else?
Edwards: I didn’t know it was getting on your nerves, Hussein.
Obama: I am not a Muslim, Senator Cracker.
Edwards: (eyelids moving at 100 clicks per minute) I’m surprised at that comment, Hussein. I have stood up for the poor ever since ..
Obama: The Mill. Yes we know Edwards.
Hillary: Hussein, did you have a chance to answer my crack that you worked for a slum lord? By the way did you say you smoked crack in your book?
Obama: (glowering) You two are ganging up on me again. I’m gonna get you both. I’ll be president and I’ll have your FBI files. We are going to find out who got Paula Jones audited at last.
Hillary: Well, I wouldn’t know about that.
Obama: (sneering) So typical. You lie like your husband. The two of you.
Hillary: Can’t match you in the invent yourself department. You have reinvented yourself how many times Hussein?
Obama: (glowering) I was never a Muslim.
Hillary: I know that. But your book doesn’t say that. It says you went to Muslim prayers. Sounds Muslim to me.
Obama: You didn’t read my book, you read Steve Sailer trash talk my book. That guy writes for the white nationalist website Vdare.
Hillary: Well, it takes one to know one.
Obama: Are you saying I am a black nationalist?
Hillary: It sounds like it. It sounds like you go to the Church of the African National Congress.
Obama: There you go again disdaining Martin Luther King.
Hillary: King was in America. Nelson Mendela was in South Africa. By the way, I know Nelson Mendela, and you are no Nelson Mendela, Hussein.
Obama: (glowering) You keep calling me Hussein, and you may see Nelson Mandela unleashed.
Hillary: You mean the communist terrorist?
Obama: (sneering) There you go again with your putting down black revolutionaries.
Hillary: Do you see yourself as a black revolutionary Hussein?
Obama: (glowering) Don’t push it Hillary. You haven’t seen me when I get angry.
Hillary: I hope we don’t see that with you having your finger on nuclear weapons. Would you sell them to your church?
Obama: (sneering) Was that a programmed attack to get me angry. If so its not working.
Hillary: (In her girlish vein.) If you say so Hussein.
Obama: Make her stop. (sneering) She keeps pushing my buttons and making me angry. I can’t control myself. Bill told her to. I sneered about her being likable and they planned this. She’s white you know. They both are. My pastor warned me about white people. She deserves it. Make her stop. Make her stop.
The above is spoof or satire. Any resemblance to the actual Democrat Debate is purely from having watched it.
“Democratic debate in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, in a forum sponsored by the Congressional Black Caucus.” Bloomberg.