Obama hires Corzine to head up aid for Goldman Sachs

November 4, 2009

The White House announced that after ungrateful New Jersey voters dumped Corzine, a better governor than they could know or understand, Obama had hired Corzine to head up the bonus maintenance operation for Goldman Sachs.

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs made the announcement at the Manhattan office of the White House at 85 Broad Street.

Gibbs:  We are very pleased to add Governor Corzine to our team to make the bailout a success.  This will help keep good jobs.   Bailout bonuses are what are supporting real estate prices in the New York area far above the depressed prices around the country.

Fred Shred (for un News):  Does Obama regard this as a bold move to shore up support in the 10004 zip code?

Gibbs:  Its where the money is.

Fred:  Do you think the defeat of Corzine might be the voters saying they are tired of rule by Goldman Sachs?

Gibbs: That’s anti-Semitism.

Fred: You mean its true?

Gibbs: Didn’t I just say that?

Fred:  Where will Corzine’s office be?  In the West Wing?

Gibbs: He will be at the Federal Reserve bank of New York.

Fred: At the special Goldman window?

Gibbs: Yes.  He will have the signing authority of the US government.

Fred: Is that constitutional?

Gibbs: Paulson had it.

Fred:  He was a Goldman chairman too.  Is that how it works now?

Gibbs: Are you some sort of Rip van Winkle?

Fred:  Don’t get too personal.

Gibbs:   Well you are not Goldman Sachs material.

Fred: I’ve gotten a bonus.

Gibbs:  A pizza?

Fred: More than that.

Gibbs: Well Corzine knows how to keep Goldman men and women happy.  That’s what Obama is looking for.

Fred:  Are these the bonus payoffs Goldman has been waiting for?

Gibbs:  Delivered with a smile.

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