Zombie immigrant study says act fast or lose

August 19, 2009


A new study by mathematicians shows that zombie immigrants may be slow moving but unless flushed immediately from the system will take over.

“Zombies would most likely wipe out humanity if they really existed, claim scientists
Civilisation would most likely be finished in the event of a zombie outbreak, claim Canadian mathematicians who have calculated the possible devastation caused by an attack by the fictional monsters.”

“By Richard Alleyne, Science Correspondent
Published: 4:11PM BST 18 Aug 2009″

In their study, titled When Zombies Attack!, the researchers picked “classic” slow-moving zombies such as those in Dawn of the Dead as models and divided humanity into three: the living, zombies and the “removed” – zombies who had been killed by decapitation.

They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them – the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.”

Joe Imad, the study’s co-author, said: “If you look at it in a more realistic way, zombies are about the same as any other major infectious disease, they get out and we try to eliminate them.

“Modelling zombies would be the same as modelling swine flu, with some differences for sure, but it is much more interesting to read.”


Third world zombies beget:

  1. Zombie mortgages
  2. Zombie banks
  3. Zombie bailouts
  4. Zombie health care
  5. Zombie California
  6. Zombie police officers with tasers
  7. Zombie Congress
  8. Zombie neighbors
  9. Zombie schools
  10. Zombie families.



We investigated various cases of the island model with stochastic migration. If the population is infinite, the immigrants have a fixed gene frequency and the alleles are neutral, the gene frequency on the island converges to that of the immigrants.

You might be a zombiecon if

  1. You aren’t a member of NumbersUSA free fax Congress from your computer brigade to stop immigration.
  2. You have never called your Senator to stop legal immigration.
  3. You are afraid to speak out against legal immigration.
  4. You are afraid to speak up for the right of whites to be separate from non-whites.
  5. You don’t support Vdare.com
  6. You support Zombie neocons like Steyn and Novak who don’t call for stopping 3rd world immigration.
  7. You agree with Congressional Republicans that the real issue is Nancy Pelosi not legal immigration.
  8. You want non-whites to speak for you.
  9. You think only non-whites can speak about race.
  10. You are afraid to criticize the forced ethnic cleansing of whites from every institution from Harvard to Westchester schools.

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