Muhammad told Obama to fix health care Bill Maher

August 25, 2009

(Spoof) Bill Maher said

“Obama should wake up tomorrow and say ‘Jesus told me to fix health care’…This Max Baucus guy needs to wake up tomorrow with an intern’s head in his bed.”

Phone in caller (imaginary)

Conan: Hello caller, what is your question?

Caller: Shouldn’t that be, uh, you know, Muhammad who tells Obama to fix health care.

Maher: Are you from the South?

Caller:  Bama.

Maher:  Alabama.

Caller:  Yes, sir.

Maher: You probably think Obama was born in Mombasa, don’t you?

Caller:  I think so, yes.

Conan kills call.

Maher: Southern stupid white birthers.  I apologize for being redundant.  When I said America is stupid that is what I mean.

Conan: Let’s have the next caller.

Caller:  Didn’t Muhammad, I mean Obama call Jesus a prophet in his Cairo speech.

Conan: So, wasn’t he?

Caller:  Its the Muslim that thinks Jesus was a prophet.  Christians believe he is the savior.  That shows Obama is a Muslim not a Christian.

Maher: He didn’t say he was a prophet.  He said something like that but not that.

Conan: Can someone look up the Cairo speech and tell us what he said?

Back stage guy:  Obama said:

and a place for all of the children of Abraham to mingle peacefully together as in the story of Isra, when Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed (peace be upon them) joined in prayer.

Conan: Next caller.

Caller3:  By saying Peace be upon them and invoking Isra a story from the Koran, Obama was puting Islam above Christianity and saying Jesus had his status in Islam.

Maher: No he wasn’t.

Caller cut off.

Maher: Where do these callers come from?  I’ll tell you the ignorant South.  You thought it was dead, but stupidity lives in the South.  That’s the real birther story.  Ignorant birthers born brain dead.  Or if not the first time, they were born again brain dead.

Conan: Born again brain dead, what would be the point of that?

Maher: To spout stupidity about Obama being a Muslim and getting his orders from Muhammad.

Conan: We have time for another caller.

Caller4:  Wasn’t Obama born in Islam?  His middle name Hussein means he was born a Muslim.

Maher: Its just a name.  His father had that name so they named him for his father.  He hardly eve saw his father again.

Caller4: Obama wouldn’t say Jesus told him anything, because Muslims don’t want to hear that.  He has to satisfy his base.

Maher:  I didn’t know we still had the ignorance on.  Are you from the South?

Caller4: I’m from Mississippi.

Maher: Which state is closer to last in the country on test scores?  Mississippi or Alabama?

Caller5: Its not because of whites that they are at the bottom.

Maher: So its blacks?

Caller5: Yes sir.

Maher: What about Obama?

Caller5: His mother was white.  Also he won’t release his school records or birth certificate.

Conan cuts him off.

Maher: He has released the birth certificate.  The ignorance that comes from the South is incredible.  Its the cradle of stupidity.  Zombie fried chickens with their heads cut off.  That is what Southerners are.


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