Archive for the 'Bernanke Card' Category

Bernanke Card: Don’t Bankrupt Bear Stearns Without It

March 29, 2008

Are you a Wall Street CEO who wants to buy high yield sub-prime mortgages? Are you tired of borrowing at low interest rates and lending at slightly higher interest rates by taking yield curve risk?  Do you want to get those big sub-prime mortgage yields?  But you don’t think you should lose your CEO stock if you lose money?  Then you need the Bernanke Card.

Only for the Wall Street CEO who has it all except for godless profit.  You may not know whether to capitalize godless, but you know you want it.  Then the Bernanke Card is for you.  This card entitles you to one free fed funded bailout for investing in sub-prime mortgages, Russian bonds, Iraqi oil pipeline deals, or the latest hot tip you got at Davos.  The Bernanke Card, don’t throw other people’s money away without it.

Also available to sovereign terrorist nations is the Bush Gold Bailout Card.  This entitles a terrorist supporting dictator, Muslim monarch or neocon beloved bad boy to get out of his problem.  This card is available only through long effort in developing, i.e. paying, the establishment-cons in DC, New York, Harvard, and other rocks they gather under.

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