John Edwards and Mike Huckabee debated who is the humblest in a special runoff debate between Republicans and Democrats. (Spoof)
Edwards: I came from the Mill. When I was young I worked in the Mill. Now I see those brown faces where the mill jobs used to be and I say we need to support them with welfare.
Huckabee: Its about the least among us. We need to give every high school Hispanic ganger a scholarship to college.
Edwards: This country has the wealth to do it. We can bring H-1B’s from China and India and lower wages for computer programmers so that the rich have money to pay taxes to support welfare for Mexicans. I learned the value of loyalty when I worked at the Mill.
Huckabee: I learned loyalty as a governor of Arkansas. People gave me gold cufflinks and really just stuffed money in my pockets.
Edwards: I didn’t have to take that. I won some big judgments in court. What I did was win one case and then cherry picked the cases of people who wanted help. The secret of being a good plaintiff lawyer is being able to screen the cases you take. Now I just shill for Wall Street and Venture Capitalists. All I have to do is bring in H-1B’s from India and China. Its more dignified than taking cufflinks and money in envelopes.
Huckabee: Well I don’t pay tax on this stuff. Or not most of it.
Edwards: That can catch up with you.
Huckabee: Look at my people. They do the same thing.
Edwards: Your people?
Huckabee: The illegals.
Edwards: Oh, yeah, they don’t pay taxes too.
Huckabee: You’ve been hanging around Wall Street too long John. You need to get back around the people. The people who now make up our schools, our welfare offices, our prisons. That is why I pardon them. I pardon them because they are our people who have simply taken back a little from what was taken from them by white America.
Edwards: You know Mike, is that what people call you, or is it Huck?
Huck: When they bestow God’s gifts of jewelry and cufflinks then any name will do.
Edwards: Well, Huck, you know, openly taking money and cufflinks, pardoning murderers, you know at some point, even I get too much of the whiff of corruption from your direction.
Huck: That is the smell of my people. I have taken it on as part of me. It flows into me and flows out of me.
Edwards: You know, I may have hung around Wall Street a little too long Huck. I think this debate needs to end.
Huck: Give me your cufflinks John.
Daniel Nasaw in Washington
Thursday December 13, 2007
A $1,000 pair of cufflinks from a supporter, tens of thousands of dollars of clothing from a wealthy Little Rock businessman and thousands in gift certificates and cash from staff and appointees were among the lavish gifts given to Republican presidential candidate and unexpected frontrunner Mike Huckabee while he was governor of Arkansas.